Ultrapunk85 Virtual Challenge (87km / 4000m+), Handlová - Bojnice, 28.8.2021

 A birthday party, as it should be - smash yourself into a mash.

Výhľad na Kľak z Homôľky

For several years now, I have been practicing celebrating my birthday at some running event - it started with Liptovský Krč, continued with Zázrifské Ultrapobehaňä, and this year I chose an event with the poetic name Ultrapunk85. The route from Handlova to Bojnice, leading through Žiar, Malá Fatra and Strážovské vrchy promised experiences from a quiet, wild nature not visited by people too much. I was looking forward to this adventure 😍Slovak ultratrail star Majka joined me, who, by the way, ran Ultrapunk in May this year. It's probably a really nice route, when she took it one more time. So I am arranging accommodation in Bojnice and a tracker so that our fans (and haters) can follow us on a live map.



It's gotten quite cold in the last week - I have to forget about my favorite running skirt 😭 and I'm finally going to sew up my 3/4 shorts, which I tore in the spring while running down from Rovna hola, climbing over a fallen tree. It has been raining quite intensively for the last few days, so I am mentally setting myself up for a mud bath. At work, I'm diligently resting and recovering from last weekend's ALS run (see here: Kozí Kameň 45) and secretly watching the live stream from UTMB (pretending to be terribly busy 😎), let myself get motivated a little. However, on Wednesday morning after turning on my PC, I received the sad news about the tragic accident of a Czech runner on the TDS track. I didn't know him personally, only by name, but even so I was left with a strange empty feeling and great sadness. That's why I was very happy on Friday when, after the start of the CCC race, at the first check-point, the commentators announced that Czech girl Peta was the first to run through it. The cameras capture her as she runs full speed, focused, down the trail, and it was clear to me that she was running for him and that she was going to give it her best on that route today. I really wanted her to win, for the entire Czech running community affected by this sad event.

At two o'clock I have to turn off the broadcast and the PC, chip off at work and fire up the engines in the direction of Ruzomberok, where Mária is waiting for me. It rains constantly on the way and the serpentines through Šturec have no end, but finally when we arrive in Bojnice the sun comes out to welcome us 😊 we quickly settle in (by the way, I recommend the guesthouse called "Ubytovanie Luky" - close to the town center, at a great price, beautifully renovated clean rooms, the landlady is willing to get up sinfully early in the morning for us so that we can hand over the keys to her already at 03:15) and we leave for the city for a runner's dinner (pasta, risotto, just some proper carbo-loading). We sit outside on the terrace and chill and drink beer, Zuzka from Girl's Facebook running group joins us, who willingly offered to drive us early in the morning from Bojnice to the start in Handlova 🙏 we are infinitely grateful to her for that. So, we agree on the details and go to sleep. Although it has already cooled down quite a bit and we are shivering from the cold. I can't fall asleep, even though I'm quite tired and sleep-deprived - the night before I slept for about 4 hours, and tonight the body is tired and lying loosely on the bed, but the brain is working like Duracell and I'm coming to terms with the fact that I won't sleep at all tonight. In the end, I manage to sleep for 2.5 hours, yesss, an unexpected success!

The night before

Handlová on Saturday morning



Sinfully early in the morning, the alarm clock rings. A quick coffee, a quick check of the events in Chamonix (Czech girl Peta ended up finishing the CCC in a beautiful, amazing, great third place, our runners are progressing nicely on the main UTMB route, etc., etc.), we hand over the keys, park my car and Zuzka drives us off into the night to the square in Handlova. We take the first photo at the signpost on the square, and at the stroke of four in the morning we turn on our watches, tracker, and set off to embrace the adventure. The streets of Handlova are quite alive this early in the morning - noisy groups of youngsters stand here and there, we quickly make our way through the town center, down a side street, and soon we leave the lights and hum of the night city behind. We turn on the headlamps, but there is fog all around and we can see almost nothing but white darkness - so far it looks like some kind of Ultra Atmospheric Black Metal.


The night forest is quiet and peaceful, here and there something rustles in the bushes, but otherwise it is calm. The houses around the Remata hotel are still asleep. In the dark, we climb up the steeply muddy forest trail and before we know it, we are at the Bralova skala. A quick photo session, a short snack and we continue through the darkness. Bears and wolves are said to have a parade on this stretch, but today no tracks can be seen and nothing can be heard around, only the echoes of our voices. It starts wading, the fading sky shines through the treetops. For a moment, the forest opened up under the Bralova skala, and a bloody dawn could be seen in the distance. Down in the valleys below us there is an inversion, the atmosphere of the morning is magical. Here, too, we get lost for the first time, wondering which trail to take, and it is only on the third attempt we hit the right direction. However, the fog soon rises again and we run through its damp chill all the way to Jasenovo. The section is beautiful though, quiet wild forests alternate with picturesque green glades, mushrooms are growing all around - I don't register them, but Majka, who has a very sensitive mushroom sensor, points her hand next to the trail every ten meters and would like to pick everything today.

Under Bralova skala



Skleniarske lúky

Towards Lazy

In a good mood we arrive in Jasenovo. It's only 8:20 a.m. and we've already covered almost 30 kilometers, and I don't remember how much ascent. About 700. But the real struggle is yet to come 💪, I'm aware of that. We eat a bun with butter, ham and cheese - there is beauty in simplicity 🍔 and head back up to the ridge. Beyond Sedlo Vyšehrad, the fog finally rises up and gradually disappears in diminishing clouds. The sun leans onto us, long sleeves fly down, sunglasses fly up, redbull gives us wings and we fly on. However, I am slowly but surely running out of water. Yes, during the preparation for the run, I wrote down all the potential wells and springs on the route according to the map, then subsequently forgot the list at home and we haven't met any water on the way yet. I look at the map on my mobile phone and see that there might be something behind Hadviga. Behind Hadviga, there is indeed a sign saying that the water is a 5-minute walk to the right, but I can see on the map that there will be some other well a little further along the route. So I give up on a five-minute walk off the track, and in sight of a spring a little further on, I take a deep drink of the rest of the water I have. The image of the fresh stream turns into the reality of brown muddy brew in a rusty mound - so nothing. Majka tells me that soon there will be watering holes and there is clean spring water flowing there. Ok, that will be fine, so we continue running and I set my mode - I can only water my mouth with the last remaining water when the kilometer beeps on my watch. I rely on the fact that this way the remaining residue will last until the watering pipes and it works - that way I don't focus on the dryness in my mouth and am able to displace it and when the watch beeps, I am overjoyed that I can now take a tiny sip of water.




Above Vyšehradske sedlo

We continue running through the beautiful countryside towards Vrícke sedlo. We find ourselves in a meadow strewn with sheep's poop and Majka assures me that the springs will be here any minute. To be sure, I don't believe her and I continue with my set drinking regime of beep-gulp. In the pass, we pass a cyclist who is terribly familiar to both of us, but we can't place him. After Vricke sedlo, there comes a section to Fačkovske sedlo - the itinerary promises eight kilometers with four hundred meters of ascent. That's not so bad. If only one knew that the 400m would come right in the first two kilometers 😂 but we don't drop in spirit at all, we keep stepping forward smoothly and constantly. Beep - gulp - beep - gulp, on the way up, Majka forces me to eat a jam bun. I'm a little hungry, but am afraid to eat such dry food so that my mouth doesn't dry out even more. Well, Mária is an ultratrail legend who is not to be deterred, so with some effort I chew an otherwise quite tasty bun, and the last drops of my water supplies fall for the homeland. We emerge from the woods on a similar meadow, Majka announces again that the springs will be there soon. Mária, you've been saying that for how many kilometers now 😂 but a little further on, we can really see a mirage, which turns into a reality of waves full of clean fresh stream, which flows out of the pipe. We greedily drink painfully cold water, refill our bottles, have a bite of something, pop the gels in and, wonderfully refreshed, run towards Fačkovske sedlo. We are looking forward to having a Coke there. After 50 kilometers, 2200 altitude and eight hours, we come to a busy pass.

Majka can see mushrooms everywhere




Homôľka awaits us


We order our Cola in the bar and sit on the terrace. Sipping the delicious black liquid, we unpack our supplies and things to change clothes and everything else from our bags, until the whole table is covered with our mess. We change clothes and eat. A boss appears at the door and asks us if everything is okay. We'll look at our mess and conclude that yes, everything is in perfect order 😁 the boss better gets out of here quickly. Somehow we manage to pack all that mess back into our running vests and start the ascent to Homôľka, which towers significantly above the pass and above us, the tiny dots at its foot. So we climb up and enjoy the views of the majestic Kľak. We still have 37 kilometers and about 1,800 meters of elevation gain ahead of us. Some would say that we could have this done in 5.5 hours, but not all that glitters is gold and not every 37 kilometer section with 1800 meters of ascent can be blown in 5.5 hours. So, firstly - we already have 50km and 2200m in our legs, secondly, not everything that is runnable is runnable. For example, such a downhill from this Homôľka. Vertically down in slimy mud studded with slippery roots and stones. Surely I've been knocked down and I'm already looking like a piglet. Well, I'm not complaining, so far there has been nothing from the advertised mud baths, they have been afforded to us only now. Fortunately, this Mordor won't last long. We swing over a few more hills, manage to get lost a few more times, and Čičmany is already in sight. In Slavka's tavern, we fill up with water, drink Hej-cola (it's probably some fake Cola) and Majka has a cheerful conversation with Slávka. She's asking her if she remembers her from May. Slavka doesn't remember. But when Majka hands over her softflask to fill up with water, Slávka remembers - she probably doesn't see this amazing running invention that often, so she's immediately reminded. We seem to have made this day a little more pleasant for her, which otherwise would have been filled only with the stereotype of permanent regulars and local alcoholics. At least her tine has passed by a bit 😁


Slávka's Tavern

A still life with a girl in a local outfit





We rush through the streets of Čičmany, music and sounds of fun are heard everywhere. The residents are celebrating the anniversary of the Slovak National Uprising. We admire the beautiful painted wooden houses. A girl dressed in a local costume is walking down the street. When she sees us, she wants to pretend she's not there, but when Majka approaches her to take a picture with us, she's afraid to say no, because Majka is an ultratrail legend and she is not to be deterred, so the girl shyly agrees to a photo. Majka asks her if she goes to church regularly and if she prays to Virgin Mary, the girl rather nods eagerly. Majka compliments her on her beautiful costume and lets her go on her way. We also go our own way, in the direction of Lazový vrch, Čičermanské sedlo, Čičerman. The route should go around its peak, but the red sign leads us directly over the top. And there is no uproot. They probably cleaned it up already. Kolenová, Sedlo Kolenová, Sedlo Obšiar. A short break to knock the rocks out of the shoes, change socks, have something to nibble on and climb up to the last big climb on this punk. According to the itinerary, it should be 1.7 kilometers and 370 meters in height. Like Babky, but a little longer. And a slightly worse trail - a muddy-gravel-rocky weighbridge with culverts. Majka flies up like nothing, I go slower, but I go. I don't have a crisis, even though everything hurts, but my head, legs, lungs, heart are still working. Malá Magura, Magura, and only 12 km of downhill, on which we should do another 200 meters of ascent. After all, there never is a downhill without climbing 😅 Deep hill, Dry hill, Bare hill. How many Bare Hills do we have in Slovakia? And how many Maguras? And Ostredoks, and Salatíns...





Down there a hint of civilization can be seen

We run along the ridge of Magura, which pleasantly undulates through the forest, yellowed grass signaling the arrival of autumn, and somewhere in the distance below the hill we can see towns. Which of them is Bojnice? I'm running out of fluids again and I'm settling into a proven drinking regimen. I will definitely last until the finish line. Majka is running 20-30-50 meters ahead of me, I already have my autopilot on and I'm putting one foot in front of the other - but I'm constantly jogging. Everything hurts now, but the balance is like this:
  • pricking in the side - 0
  • knee pain - 0
  • hip joint pain - 0
  • ankle pain - 0.001
  • foot pain - 0
  • achilles pain - 0
  • pain in the rest of the body - 100 😁
  • bruises - 0 (even though we already plopped through a wet meadow in the morning)
  • tripping - 0
  • sprained ankles - 0
Boškovie Laz, Panský háj, Čierna studňa, Opleten - there we once again and for the last time entwine our feet in a pile of fallen wet branches, wash our shoes in the stinky still mud, wade through the wild vegetation (Ok, here we accidentally got off the trail 😄), run through Šútovské sedlo and it's only about five kilometers to the final destination. Endlessly long 5 km. We run into the dark forest above the city, the path crosses the local bike path, we pass the Vendelín chapel, and things are starting to look promising. It seems that I will probably really do the Ultrapunk thing 😂 Majka - there is no doubt about her, this was a piece of cake for her and I am grateful to her that she patiently went with me even below her usual pace and kept me great company.



We did it 😍

The last kilometer around the ZOO fence, the sounds of baboons are heard, similar to the sound of cats when f*cking. They actually welcome us to the finish line. One more turn and there is a destination sign a hundred meters ahead of us 😅 I quickly stop my watch and save the activity. Finishing time - 19:25 and a few seconds - still in the daylight. The total running time was therefore 15 hours, 25 minutes, 49 seconds. Majka approaches a local boy to see if he can take photos, and the boy proudly takes a beautiful picture of us and is happy that we chose him. We thank him profusely, congratulate each other on the successful adventure and leave for the car. I sit down on the curb with great difficulty, feeling that there will be a honest muscle-ache. After all, I was not yet fully recovered from the ALS run, plus the new fatigue from today's run is added. It doesn't matter, at least I know I'm alive 😅 We change our shoes, change clothes, drink Coke, smile blissfully, Majka congratulates me on my birthday which is the next day - they say it brings misfortune but in fact, it brought me happiness 😁. Meanwhile, the sun is setting fast and we are heading home in the dark - but we will be fine, the roads will be empty now. Yeah, sure... I drive in mega heavy traffic all the way to Ruzomberok, where I say goodbye to Majka and somehow manage the last half hour of the journey to Vavrišovo. I am home. The end. Actually, not yet - I still need to climb the stairs to the third floor 😂

Thank you once again to everyone who made it possible for me to complete this beautiful running trip 💖

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